Labels and snap decisions

I don't want to make the mistake of sounding like everything is all rainbows and unicorns all the time here at the Mothership. We have scuffles and bumps in the road like any family and with girls (including one teenager and one who wishes she was a teenager) there is somtimes even HIGH DRAMA. I try to keep my head at these trying times, sometimes even succeeding!

Eventually, we get around obstacles or over, or through them; whatever it takes. When Eli was 3, he had sleep problems. That's an understatement though, really. This kid would maybe sleep 3 or 4 hours a night and that was a good night. I checked out options and tried melatonin for him before trying meds, as his doc was leery of the effects of antypsychotics on a child so young. No duh. The melatonin worked great for a little over three years, then abruptly stopped working. I removed it completely, waited two weeks and then reintroduced it -- nothing. Over summertime it wasn't the end of the world but when school resumed it became an issue pretty quickly.

I talked to his doc about Clonidine (not an antipsychotic) and we gave it a shot. I had already talked to other autism moms I know and some of their kids took it with good results. Eureka! Sleep, blessed sleep. Eli functioned better at school and was able to cope better throughout the day, and he was actually able to learn and retain information better with a decent night's sleep. We have adjusted the dosage a couple of times now but I am of the school of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" so we try to not mess with too many variables.

Fast forward to the IEP meeting last week. One of the members of Eli's team broached the subject of ADD and meds to treat it. You know the routine -- they gently suggest it and you just know that secretly, the staff is all silently praying that you take the bait and immediately slap your kid on the latest med. Oh okay, so maybe that is exagerrating, a little, but you know what I mean.

They had set the scene by being concerned about his reading skills, which are admittedly below par for his grade. We all know this already, and are working to resolve the gap between him and his peers. However, I don't want to justify medicating for ADD with a gap in his skills. Not so fast. There are many actions to take before resorting to medication. He does have problems with focus but he is still pretty young and there is still time for him to catch up.

Furthermore, he has not been formally evaluated for ADD/ADHD, so I tried to not freak out immediately and dig my heels in any one spot. I tend to make snap decisions in a lot of areas, but this is one that definitely deserves some thought. Coincidentally, Eli just had an appointment with the family doc yesterday for a meds check -- to see how he was doing with the Clonidine. I brought up the possibility of ADD and sort of got defensive, but checked it because this is not about me. It's about Eli and what will ultimately help HIM be most successful. I just don't want him to be defined by a bunch of labels early on, but if the labels help other people know what to expect with Eli, then so be it.

Our game plan at this point is conservative but aware. We are going to try to remediate his reading over the summer with books he might actually like and see how much that helps. Eli is such a funny kid -- he told one of the staff that the story she had just read was "The lamest story I ever heard" so I think there are better options than what the school is offering for reading. He has a library card already, so I am going to make more of an effort to use it. I also asked for the forms to fill out for ADD assessment and got two for his teachers next fall to fill out in October, when school has been in session for a bit and they know Eli better. We can better decide what course of action to take for him after that. If he winds up with another label, that's okay.

I am still really torn on the issue of meds. Ultimately, I feel the fewer he takes to alter his brain chemistry, the better. But I saw dramatic improvement firsthand with the addition of meds to help his sleep, so I am not shutting the door. I am more kind of peeking through it first.