We have five new residents here at the Mothership. Most if not all of them are temporary, but they needed a place to stay and I try to be welcoming and help out when I can.

Ophelia came to us through a facebook connection who posted the following status message a couple of weeks ago.

Young white Siamese kitty with sable brown mask around sky blue eyes dropped off at campground. She's beautiful, knocked up, and looking for a home. Anybody?

You can imagine some of the comments, and they were numerous. I'm such a sap, I agreed to foster her through delivery and weaning of kittens. We waited for several days after she arrived, but in the wee hours of Monday morning the kittens were finally born. Healthy, happy, and quite beautiful, the momma cat has adjusted quite well to her surroundings. I took Eli up to see them before we left for school and his response was, "Awwww, they're adorable!" A friend of mine jokingly remarked that "If he wants to be autistic, he'd better quit saying stuff like that."

He made up for that remark later that day when we went to say hello to a little boy after school in the parking lot. H has Downs Syndrome and doesn't speak very clearly, but is a sweet and happy boy. I steered Eli toward him and his mom, asking about aide assignments for the year so far, as this is a bugaboo for us--rotating aides. Eli jumped right into the conversation by mocking H's speech and I was mortified. His mom took it in stride, but I didn't. She explained that his muscles don't always do what H wants them to, and that's why he struggles so much. I think Eli understood it pretty well and as we walked to the car, we talked about how hard it must be for H to want to communicate but have such a difficult time of it, through no fault of his own.

We kept talking and I tried valiantly to explain how an extra chromosome can affect someone. Just one little tiny piece and it can cause so many challenges and health problems. I mentioned that some people with Downs Syndrome have heart problems and Eli was really concerned, asking why doctors can't just take out the Downs Syndrome. Yikes.

He really is a compassionate little boy and I don't think he intended to hurt H's or his mom's feelings by mocking. I want to believe that he was just making an observation, not criticizing. I recently brought up the fact that Eli has autism to him with a homework assignment that innocently asked, "What makes you special?" He was stuck on that question, not knowing what to write and I said, "Well, you have autism, and that makes you special. It's what makes you so good at math but not so good at making friends and playing together. It's what makes some sounds too much for you--why you don't like bright lights and stuff like that." It made him uncomfortable talking about it and in the end, he refused to answer that question, making me feel like I had jumped the gun.

But I didn't. He does have autism. He should know it. We ALL have something about us that makes us unique, and his autism is a big part of who he is. There is nothing to be ashamed of--it's HIM and he is really a delightful kid most of the time.

And he's becoming more typical as he ages and matures. We see this more and more these days -- things he says and does that make me question his diagnosis. Then he blurts out something as he did to H and I don't question it. A typical 8 year old would spot a difference in H immediately and innately know to not mock his speech, at least not in front of moms or teachers. He saw nothing different about H.

We don't treat Eli much differently than we treat the other kids in the house. He takes his dishes to the sink, will set the table for dinner, and is learning to put his clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor. He is held accountable for his actions and disciplined accordingly. But sometimes, we have to adjust. Last week, Jim walked up to Eli and greeted him with "Hi Eli! What are you doing?" and Eli reacted with a hateful "Leave me alone! Just go away!" Jim was frustrated, as he had a right to be, and I had finally had it with Eli's response. Rather than just send him into timeout or to his room for being rude, I decided to experiment with a little role-playing. I had Jim go back inside and told Eli that he was rude, to try it again. I coached him to respond with "Hi Jim! I'm playing my game." or something to that effect, rather than telling him to go away. I told him that it makes everyone's day nicer if he responds nicely, rather than rudely. Jim came back out, greeted Eli, and Eli responded as he was told to. Not that big of a deal, but it worked. From now on, if Eli responds rudely to someone greeting him, we will have a do-over, until it finally sinks in.

In the long run, it will sink in. It will pay off for him his entire life--knowing how to respond accordingly--but it is going to take time and effort and consistency. That's okay. He is completely worth it. And he proves it by saying things like, "Awww! They're adorable!" because the kittens are really adorable, and so is he.